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| Finding Jane, Part II By DeliverMeFromEve |
- “You’re not in the picture,” Hermione said, staring at the
- She didn’t quite know what was so important about it that
Harry showed up in these photo-shoots for Ginny, but she felt
surprised by his absence in this one nonetheless. Maybe
because she thought she had talked him into doing it that day.
- So there was Ginny; so were their lovely dogs. No Harry.
- Harry looked casually over at the magazine, as if he
- “Yes, I can see that. Is that a cat in the back?”
- Harry nodded. “Indeed it is. Lovely, isn’t she? I saw her
it was a good idea, what with the dogs and all, but Patchet’s
a tough little beastie. I think she clawed the head dog on the
nose. The rest of them have been nice to her since. Thought
that earned the cat a place in the picture.”
- “I distinctly remember you saying you were going home for
- “I did go home for the photo-shoot, and I did make it, but
unenthused. The layout director agreed with her, so they took
me out.”
- “Took you out?”
- “Edited the photos. See, if you look close enough, there’s
be.”
- Hermione looked closer and did indeed notice some sort of
- “Apparently. Looks rather nice without me, anyway. Ginny
- Hermione set the magazine aside. “Harry, I hate to pry,
- “Wrong?”
- “Yes, wrong.”
- “With what?”
- “You know what.”
- “I don’t know what you mean.”
- Hermione shot him a penetrating look. He stared right
- “You are the worst liar, Harry,” she said after a bit,
things from me.”
- The stubborn jut of his jaw eased and he gave a rather
I’m not quite ready to talk about it, yet.”
- “You’re not ready for me to talk sense into you, you mean.”
- He laughed wanly. “Well, right now, I’m not quite sure
it, anyway.”
- “Harry.”
- He shrugged. “Will you be at your parents’ house tonight?”
- Hermione noted the quick change of subject but didn’t
got a full schedule...”
- He nodded. “Maybe because I’ll be there. I’m helping your
- She grabbed his sleeve. “Get out while you still can,” she
- Harry laughed. “Oh, stop making fun of your father. I’m
- She affected dreadful gravity. “He’s gone through three
not with the way he keeps switching things around.”
- “Oh, but I’ve got a wand.”
- “He’ll be worse for it, I promise you.”
- “We’ll see. It ought to be fun, anyway. I always liked
- She smiled. “Everyone likes my dad. Even Ron loves him. I
- It hadn’t come out as jokingly as she had hoped.
- Harry rubbed her arm soothingly. “That’s not true...”
- Hermione shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. We’re divorced. We
- There was a brief silence.
- “Have you spoken to him lately?” Harry asked. It had been
month ago, when the house got sold. They hadn’t talked much.
There was really hardly anything to say. Their kids were in
Hogwarts. There was nothing else to tie them together.
- She shook her head. “Sent him brownies once. Daddy liked
- Harry blinked. “You baked him brownies?”
- “What? Goodness, no. They were from my mother. She just
- “Oh. Did he owl back?”
- “Yes, he did.”
- “And what did he say?”
- “Well, how should I know?”
- “You didn’t read his owl?”
- “Well, why should I? It was for mum. I suppose he thanked
- Harry sighed then laughed. “Well, of course.”
- She laughed, too, but more sadly. “He’s not speaking to
that he didn’t think it was a good idea, but sometimes I
feel...I could’ve tried harder. Ron tried everything. He even
bought those books— you know? How to Save Your Marriage.”
- “His luck finally ran out with the How To-Books, I
- She sighed. “Maybe he just read the wrong book, this time.”
- “Maybe. You know, I actually thought you and Ron were
too.”
Hermione didn’t know why, but she found that quite funny.
together, not quite knowing why.
- “Why are we laughing?” Harry asked.
- She giggled. “I don’t know...I suppose, I just like
- “It’s a blast.”
- It took a while, but they finally settled down, grinning
- “You know, we might have made a great couple,” Harry said
- Hermione blinked. “What?”
- “Us. If we dated. We might have made a great couple.”
- She felt her cheeks grow warm, and she couldn’t believe
seemed to think so...” Then she thought about her mother, and
how Rose’s Mr. Knightley-ing and Emma-ing might have conjured
images of her and Harry being together...
- “Well, I can mention at least three people who were almost
- That surprised her. “Oh? Who are these three people?”
- “Well, there was Viktor, Molly, and Ron, himself. Not to
- She knew about Molly, and even Rita Skeeter, but Viktor
- He shrugged. “Well, apparently, Viktor said you talked
closer than friends.”
- Her brows knotted. “Do I talk about you excessively?”
- “I don’t know. Do you?”
- Did she?
- “I think we would’ve worked out,” Harry continued after a
we never really went out. And I almost always like your
company.”
- She sneered. “Almost always?”
- He smirked. “Well, a man’s got to be left alone sometimes,
- “That might have worked out. Ron always thought I never
- “Funny. I thought you always took care of me.”
- Hermione sniffed. “Too bad you’re not my husband.”
- That seemed to amuse him vastly. “Yeah. Too bad.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- “The result of this distress was, that, with a
much more voluntary, cheerful consent than his
daughter had ever presumed to hope for at the
moment, she was able to fix her wedding-day —
and Mr. Elton was called on, within a month
from the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Martin,
to join the hands of Mr. Knightly and Miss
Woodhouse.
- “The wedding was very much like other weddings,
where the parties have no taste for finery or
parade; and Mrs. Elton, from the particulars
detailed by her husband, thought it all
extremely shabby, and very inferior to her own.
— “Very little white satin, very few lace veils;
a most pitiful business! — Selina would stare
when she heard of it.” — But, in spite of these
deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the
confidence, the predictions of the small band of
true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were
fully answered in the perfect happiness of the
union.”
- Hermione turned the last page of Emma and set the book
She was rather glad to note that her rereading of Emma had
brought with it the same fine flavors from so long ago, when
she first read the book at 9. She even dared to think that she
gained more reading it with a more experienced mind. The years
between 9 and 38 seemed to open her eyes to the nuances of
every character in the book, and every unsaid word. Or perhaps
her mother’s fanciful substitution of characters in the book
helped more than Hermione was willing to admit.
- She had read the book, inadvertently thinking of the
pondered the similarities of Ron to Harriet and even went so
far as to dub Robert Martin as Luna, from time to time. In one
of her most outrageous flights of fancy, she equated Mr. Elton
to Lavender and even guiltily assigned Mr. Churchill to Ginny.
She had indulged herself, assigning people of her acquaintance
to this elegantly crafted tale of mismatched lovers, well-
examined letters, and revelations of life.
- She found, however, that she could not seem to figure out
fit Jane’s description.
- Naturally, Hermione didn’t lose sleep over it. It was only
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Harry emerged from the back door, stretching his arms far
- Hermione laughed from the swing seat. Two months to the
still weren’t done. “I warned you.”
- He looked at her questioningly, mid-stretch, then laughed,
head back and draping his arms along the back of the seat. He
looked exhausted, but he was grinning. “Oh, it’s not so bad.
Rather enjoy helping him out, actually.”
- She noticed. She had, in fact, wondered if he wasn’t
much. It was nice to see Harry on a more regular basis. He
certainly livened up the Granger table, able to engage in
serious conversation with her mother and make silly jokes with
her father. Harry brought a good balance with Hermione, too,
making her laugh whenever she got stubborn and bossy.
Still, she felt a bit guilty — like she was hogging his
thought he ought to be. She felt an obligation to ask, and she
had put off the conversation long enough. “I’d imagine Ginny
must be wondering what sort of treasures you were finding in
Alfred Granger’s basement that it would keep you from her most
nights.”
His eyes snapped fiercely in her direction before he
over most nights, anyway. I’ll only get in the way.”
“You’re right. Three kitchens, four living rooms, three
You’re in dire danger of knocking heads.”
- He sneered. “Stop funning.”
- “Oh, believe me, I’m not funning.”
- He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “You and your
- “Ready to get sense talked into you?”
- “You don’t want me to be here?”
- She frowned. “That is completely unfair, Harry. Of course
know, with your wife?”
- “Like I said. She has her friends.”
- Hermione pursed her lips, tempted to end the discussion,
friends start coming to your house?”
- “What do you mean when? Her friends always came to the
“I meant routinely. More often than they used to.”
- He slunk down on the seat. “Month and a half ago,” he
“Excellent, so has it ever occurred to you that your wife
hasn’t been there—“
- Harry groaned. “Look, I don’t have to be there for her
away from me.”
- Hermione frowned, but she turned away as well, a flush
my nose into something that’s none of my busi—“
- “It’s not—“ He stopped and gave another frustrated sigh.
She stared at him in surprise. It took a moment, but her
Harry. I don’t know anything about it, so I’ve no right to
judge you like that.”
- He massaged his forehead briefly, lost in his thoughts. “I
I miss having her attending to them instead of just me.
Everything has to be about me; my decision. Every flowerpot
and every tile has to go by my opinion. She agrees with every
single thing I say— even when she disagrees, it’s like she’s
agreeing. When she decides things by herself, it’s because she
knows I’d like it. She’s exceedingly good at knowing what I
like, by the way. And still she manages— there’s this huge
portrait of me sitting on the fireplace. Lord, I hate it. I
just hate it. She doesn’t get it— God!” He paused, taking a
deep breath. He went on more calmly. “So I think this is good;
that she has friends over. Maybe she’d think about other
things, for once. I’m so tired of her— hovering around me...”
Hermione’s brows knotted and she stared at Harry like she
she understood where he was coming from, even if she didn’t
quite know what to feel about him. “Harry, I— that was the
unkindest thing I’ve ever heard you say...”
- The effect was instantaneous. He turned horribly red then
- She hastily continued. “Unkind, but...it’s a real issue.
- He swallowed and Hermione could see his hands shaking a
God, it’s not her fault, Hermione. None of it is. And really,
what has she done wrong? My kids and I...we’re everything to
her. We’re all that she lives for, but— I once thought she—“
He paused, trying to find the words. “She had so many other
plans back then. She wanted a career and she had so much
ambition. I used to admire her for wanting it all, but then...
it’s like I became her career, and I thought I’d like that at
first, but good Lord...”
- “Harry, how long have you felt this way?” Hermione asked,
some kind of sense. As appreciative of love Harry was, he was
essentially an independent soul. He loved those he loved, and
he relied on those he trusted, but ultimately, his
independence was ingrained in him. Too many years in the
cupboard, perhaps. Too many years fending for himself...
- “The kids helped a lot,” he said, as if in reply to her
Hogwarts...”
All this time...
- “Oh, Harry...” she whispered. “That’s terrible. Why did
- “It was no party for her, either,” he continued miserably.
- “But you never fight! Ginny never said you did, did you?”
- “They weren’t yelling fights,” Harry said quietly. “We
know the words. Hurts without saying them.”
- “And the kids don’t know?”
- “They think everything’s perfect. Ginny sort of made a
- Hermione sighed. “And is this why she wants another child?
- “Probably.”
- “It would be a mistake.”
- “I know. But it’s not easy, is it? Getting a divorce.”
- She frowned. “Divorce isn’t always the answer. I meant
referee...”
A bitter laugh escaped him. “If we knew how without a
Nineteen years...
- Hermione felt a deep sadness for her best friend. She saw
promises. She knew his capacity to love. She mourned that it
hadn’t had a proper outlet. If it hadn’t been for the
children, Harry might have lamented those nineteen years even
more.
She laid her head on his shoulder, offering what little
didn’t let go.
- The stars overhead shone brightly through the clear spring
amidst the constellations.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- “I figured out who Jane Fairfax is,” Hermione told her
calendar on the kitchen wall was unmarked, yet Hermione
could’ve burned a hole through the 21st of April.
- Rose looked over her shoulder. “Is the answer on the
Hermione smirked. “No, but the date gave me an inkling.
Rose didn’t seem quite so surprised. “That ought to make
- Hermione paused at that, mildly surprised that her mother
was her mother...
- “I thought you liked Harry, mum.”
- “I adore the man. Just that with him around, your father
- “Well, I think they both like not finishing it. They could
- Rose shot her a look. “Like what? Have wild parties and
middle-age and your father’s ancient. I don’t think those two
are up to partying like Rockstars at their age, even if you
Portkeyed them straight to a nightclub dance floor with
scantily clad women.”
- Hermione threw her head back and laughed. “Mother!”
- “It’s true!”
- “Oh mum...well, Harry’s not that old. He’s a wizard. He
late 20s by Muggle standards. Harry’s still got plenty left in
him.”
- Rose’s eyebrow arched. “Oh, does he? Well, that’s a bit
- “What— mum!” She didn’t know why she was so mortified by
- “I didn’t mean anything by it. And what was it you were
- Hermione welcomed the slight change in subject. “I’ve been
Harry’s Emma, and Ron’s Harriet. I started thinking up
substitutions for the other characters, too. Gave me quite an
interesting perspective. Couldn’t put a name to Jane Fairfax,
though. Stumped me for a bit, I’ll admit.”
“But now you know.”
“Yes. Jane Fairfax is Harry.”
- “Well, Harry can’t be both Emma and Jane. They’re two
completely different characters.”
- “That’s just it, see. There’s Harry, and there’s what
enigmatic version of Emma, but we know from Emma’s point-of-
view that she’s the more realistic version of Jane, whether
she likes to admit it or not. Everyone still loves Emma, but
Jane’s allure is irresistible to everyone else, still. Don’t
you think Harry’s like that? There’s that Jane in him, that
everyone sees and admires, and then there’s Emma, his true
self, and the one Mr. Knightley knows in all her flaws and
foibles. Besides, since I assigned Mr. Churchill to Ginny, it
only makes more sense. Mr. Churchill is in love with Jane. He
pretended to be in love with Emma, when all this time it’s
Jane he’s in love with. Don’t you think it fits in view of the
circumstances?”
- “Oh, but Mr. Churchill gets to keep Jane,” Rose pointed
Hermione shrugged. “This is real life, mum. Harry can be
gets to keep her Jane Fairfax through the divorce. She no
longer has to keep being disillusioned by the real Harry and
Harry doesn’t have to worry about constantly being Jane.”
- “Huh. That actually makes sense. Looks like you learned
- Hermione was mildly surprised. “You mean it?”
- “Of course, dear.”
- “But— back then, when I was 9, you weren’t happy with my
- “I wasn’t.”
- “How could you have known back then that this would be the
didn’t even know Harry and Ron and Ginny—“
“Well, there’s no right or wrong answer, sweetheart. I was
the book!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hermione flipped the book in her hand as she sat with
there, too, and they both had one foot up on the wicker table
in front of them.
- Harry was still in his business robes and he was smoothing
divorce proceedings,” he said.
- She patted his arm. She knew how harrowing it could be.
“I didn’t expect to feel sad.”
- She nodded, knowing what he meant. “It comes when you
yourself from the person you spent the last twenty years with.
If you’re the least bit human, twenty years will mean
something.”
- He seemed to understand. “Have you talked to Ron, lately?”
- “As a matter of fact, I have. Rose had a Quidditch game
it turns out we missed being friends. It turned civil to
friendly rather quickly.”
- “That’s good, because now he’s not speaking to me.”
- “Sorry.”
- “It’s alright. I understand. I’m divorcing his baby
“Do you want me to talk to him about it?”
- Harry waved the offer away. “Don’t. You and Ron have your
Ron by myself.”
- They descended into a comfortable silence, rocking gently
her shoulders. She relaxed even more.
- “Are you hungry?” Hermione asked several minutes later. “I
- “I can’t. Your mother made me promise to save my appetite
- She sneered. “Does she make you wash your hands before
maybe?”
He chuckled. “Hey, her house, her rules.”
- “Honestly. And she called you middle-aged. You’d think she
school boy.”
- “She called me middle-aged? Oy, I’ve still got a lot in
- “That’s what I told her!”
- “Oh, did you?”
- She blushed. She didn’t know why, but she did. “Anyway,
their house.”
- He grinned. “You don’t want me there?”
- She rolled her eyes. “It’s not that! Just that a grown man
- “I can’t help it. You’re so easy to bait.”
- “Am I?”
- He nodded, still smiling.
- It was perhaps around that time she realized that his
distracting, but it felt quite nice.
- She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder.
- He looked at the book in her hand. “That Emma?”
- “Yes...thought maybe you’d like something to read. I know
- “Sure, I’ll read it. It’s one of your favourites, innit?”
She smiled. “Yes. It’s light, and amusing. Something to
from hereon...”
- He understood and he smiled appreciatively. He gave the
never going to change that, are you?”
- She paused. “I did, actually. It was already Jean just
- “But you changed it back to Jane?”
- She shrugged. “Yes. It was Jane for 38 years and...” She
finally get it.”
- He looked at her quizzically for a brief moment before he
thanks for the book, and for thinking of me, and for...
honestly, everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
- “Well, I’m not going anywhere, so you’ll just have to
- He kissed her forehead and they leaned back on the seat
- After several minutes of comfortable silence, Hermione
- “Oh,” he replied. “I think she wouldn’t mind if I was a
- Somehow, Hermione didn’t think her mother would mind,
| The End |
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